FYI: I'm writing this as it happens, but I won't post it until I announce this publicly . . . so this will be an old post by the time anyone gets to read it, but I wanted to write about it anyway!

I am beginning to think that I should have had kids in my early 20s when I was too stupid to know anything. Because I'm older I'm so much more AWARE of the many things to worry about. I'm aware of all the things that are now out of my control (not that too many things are in my control now). For example, I have this creature growing inside of me and I have no control over whether it will be a viable pregnancy, whether it will be a boy or a girl, whether it will be healthy and whole. . . the list goes on and on. I'm beginning to think this is just the beginning of a huge loss of control in my life!

In addition to those worries, I am already trying to research the safety of sonograms, organic vs. non-organic crib mattresses, cord storage, and vaccinations. I'm wondering if I'll be able to breastfeed and how realistic the idea of cloth diapers are.

I haven't even gone to the doctor yet and already this is taking over my life!

Side note: Carlos keeps telling me to stop calling babies "it" - that it offends people. However, I don't know what else I will call this baby, as we have decided not to find out the gender!


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