Finding my Place

I never thought of myself as having Attention Deficit Disorder, but I think that I just might. For those of you that know me personally, you can probably attest to the fact that I am a little all over the place - with ideas, conversations, plans, etc. When I get a "hare-brained idea" I usually go full force with it. Thank God I have a husband who reins me in when I get a little out of control.

This idea-overload has found its way into my spiritual life. I don't want to do one ministry, I want to do a bunch of ministries. I don't want to help one person, I want to help a bunch of people - or at least I want to help one person in a really big way.

Unfortunately, because of this, I haven't really found my "place" - or my passion. I'm constantly jumping (at least in my head - Carlos keeps me from jumping too much in action) from one thing to another. Or, instead of doing one thing well, I want to do everything! I want to work at a virtual school, I want to open a charter school, I want to do foster parenting, I want to sponsor a child through World Vision (this one we are doing), I want to be an advocate for undocumented workers, I want to be involved in water wells in 3rd world countries, I want to advocate against modern day slavery, I want to buy mosquito nets to combat the worldwide problem of malaria, I want to save the planet. The list goes on and on . . . oh, and don't forget about fighting animal cruelty. I can't even hear that Sarah McLaughlin song from the commercial without crying!

I have been struggling a lot lately with wanting to do SOMETHING, but either feeling like I couldn't for one reason or another. Last week, I really felt strongly that God was telling me to do what He has given me to do instead of searching for something "bigger." I remembered the parable from Matthew 25 and that I needed to be faithful with the small things.

Tonight at SALT (Servant Advance Leadership Training) at Harvest, Pastor Jim read John 15. He said he felt led to read it, and I feel that I needed to hear it. Verse 4 and 5 really jumped out at me:
4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

How many of my "plans" and "ideas" are my own thing? In trying so desperately to find my place, am I missing it? I felt like I was being told to CHILL OUT and just BE --> Remain in God and bear much fruit. Don't remain in God and I can do nothing. Seems simple enough.

While I was considering that, these verses were said:

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

This is what I heard: Love the people around you. You don't have to go around looking for people to love. God will put the people in your life that He wants you to love.

Okay, so I'm no closer to knowing my passion than I was before, but I do know this: I will change the way I look - instead of looking "out there," I will be looking right around me!

Comments

KKSorrell said…
Great post! I think that every little thing counts in the eyes of God - even the smallest smile or kind word! Like the new blog design!

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