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Showing posts from June, 2010

Sandpaper

I do not like criticism . . . this is mostly because I do not like failure, and criticism (even the constructive kind), makes me feel like I have failed.

Add to that a spouse who is a critic - not in a bad way, but who just enjoys observation, analysis, and judgment. He wants things to be done in the best possible way (often these things are subjective, but sometimes not). Therefore, he often offers constructive criticism that I usually take as simply criticism.

When confronted with criticism (even the constructive kind), I get defensive. VERY defensive. Most (ok, probably all) of our fights stem from this very situation.

I have always thought it was okay for me to get defensive - how else could I defend myself?? ESPECIALLY if I disagree with the criticism. However, I'm beginning to think I'm wrong (that's right - read it again, I said it!) :)

When reading Luke 10:40-42, I wonder if Mary tried to offer Martha constructive criticism. If so, I'm sure she wished…

Grown-up Me

When I was a kid, I thought that when I became an adult, I would feel different somehow - more grown-up, more together. However, I don't feel any different - I feel the same. I feel the same as that selfish kid who feels that the world revolves around me. Often I feel the same as my adolescent self, who is confused about what I want and is often controlled by emotions. Other times I feel the same as I did when I was 21 and 22 -- just starting out in a career and unsure of what I want to do and where I want to go. Maybe Sandra Cisneros had it right in her short story "Eleven":

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one.
I guess I have more experience, but I'm still the same person. When you are a kid, you look at adults as if they are a different species altogether. And I guess many adults look at teenagers as a different sp…