What's my Story?

When I hear that question, I automatically think in terms of the past - as in "back story," but I'm living a story NOW, even if I don't realize it. So what is it about? Sometimes I think it is a pretty boring story, at times it seems like it is in slow motion, and at other times in fast forward.

But if I'M the main character, what's the plot? Where is the story headed? Is it a tragedy? Comedy? Sometimes it is difficult to think of my life as a story because so much is out of my control. I'm not the writer, necessarily, just the improv actor. By the way, I hate improv. I like lines, and order, and plans.

I look at where I am now in my life, and I never in a million years would have planned this for me. Not that I'm not happy or content - I am. It just wouldn't have been my plan. Of course, 10 years ago, when I was making my plan, I was just a dumb 21-year-old starting out life and making major mistakes.

And now? I'm just a dumb 31-year-old making (hopefully less major) mistakes.

And thinking of living a better story, I want to plan big things . . . but sometimes big plans = big mistakes. Every day is a story - how am I living today's story?

To be honest, much of the time this main character sleeps her way through the story. I don't like my setting very much, but if story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it, what do I want?

A more comfortable life? That's a pretty boring story played out in suburbia every day. Although I admit that sometimes that is what I strive for.

So this post has no answer. I'm just trying to figure it out - thanks to Donald Miller for making me think about it at all.


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